Wednesday, June 13, 2012

It's Too Soon For Awards! (But I'll Take It!)

Holy crap someone thinks my writing is worthy of an award? I don’t even care that it may or may not be a self-congratulatory back-slapping chain-letter/traffic-booster for bloggers. I’ll take that sucka and wear it like a bow!
Meh... I'LL TAKE IT!
Thanks so much to Roe at My Upside Down Life for taking notice of my strenuous effort to get… um, noticed. Especially since she follows like a billion blogs and for some crazy reason chose mine as one of her seven picks. I'm feeling downright marshmallowy over this.   
Here are the rules I gotta follow (This award reminds me of those Facebook chain-forwards where you have to answer a bunch of questions about yourself and then ‘share’ – which I ALWAYS do – and in case you haven’t noticed, I’m very self-absorbed so this kind of thing is right up my alley):

The Rules:

1. Thank and link back to the awarding blog. –check.
2. Answer seven questions. –gonna do that right now.
3. Provide 10 random factoids about yourself. –Oh shit, I have to think now? Argh.
4. Hand the award on to 7 deserving others. –No. I'm changing this to three. Seven is too many.

The Questions:

#1. What is your favorite song?
It’s not a song, it’s a piece. It’s Beethoven’s 7th Symphony, 2nd Movement. Makes me cry every time I hear it. (I know. I'm a nerd. But I’m NOT pretentious, and that’s what's important to me). I also love all of the Mahler symphonies, but mostly the First and Fifth.

#2. What's your favorite desert?
Key lime pie. Or cheesecake. Or chocolate-chip cookies. Or a chocolate malt. Oh fuck it, anything with sugar in it is my favorite.

#3. What do you do when you are upset?
Write, dehr.

#4. Which is your favorite pet?
My dog is my favorite pet. He’s my only pet. I don’t love him; I ‘ruff’ him.
I ruff him.
#5. Which do you prefer, White or Whole Wheat?
White tastes better, but whole wheat is healthier and that's what we eat. So... whole wheat, sorta?? Why is this question relevant? Can I change this question to ‘Which do you prefer, being slapped in the head with a dead chicken or having your arms tied up over your head while someone tickles you in the armpit?’ It’s no more relevant of a question, but at least it quantifies your tolerance for being tickled in the armpit. I choose dead chicken.

#6. What is your your biggest fear?
Did you notice that there are two ‘yours’ in this question? I’m not changing it. That’s how it was sent to me, and after spending like 30 minutes following the link back I see it’s been appearing that way since like, inception, so that’s how I’m gonna leave it. Anyway, my biggest fear is being abducted by aliens. I know I’m supposed to say ‘something terrible happening to my kids’ but if you pay attention you'll see that is exactly what I'm saying. Is there anything more traumatic to a kid than having The Greys suck your mommy up kicking and screaming into their giant spaceship vacuum-hose? (It was a dream I had, okay?) 

#7. What is your attitude mostly?
In spite of my passion for cuss-words and sarcasm, I am an optimist. I love off-color humor, satire, irony, and good-old-fashioned self-deprecation. Intelligent humor is my favorite. My neighbor (the one with whom I want to go down a dark alley) quoted me a superb one today, from The Princess Bride: “Buttercup: That's the fire swamp! We'll never survive. Wesley: Nonsense! You're only saying that because no one ever has.” Does anyone else think this is genius besides me? Irony at its awesomest.

Ten Random Facts about Me:
  1. I have a Master’s of Music in Viola Performance from a prestigious conservatory (That’s why I’m a classical music nerd), and I play in a little local orchestra now and then. (And I love it!)
  2. I like Rap and Hip-Hop too.
  3. But not really heavy metal, unless I’m doing kickboxing with my neighbor. (It feels like appropriate music for getting my ass kicked.)
  4. I used to be a Financial Planner so I know shit about how to manage money.     
  5. I can still roller-skate backwards and do cart-wheels.
  6. I really do find it a pleasure to shop at Publix. They give my kids cookies and balloons and load the groceries into the car. Effin love that place!
  7. Because of the unlikely proliferation of perfectly usable trashed solid-wood furniture I have been finding on the side of the road lately, I'm pretty sure God wants me to make a job of salvaging and refinishing it so I can flip it on Craigslist. I know, it makes no sense to me, either. (Post forthcoming)
  8. Every time I see a toad, I get goose-bumps. Yes, even if it’s just a picture.
  9. I’m doing Tough Mudder this December with three awesome chicks, all of whom I am afraid.
  10. One of my favorite things EVER is when I’m eating pistachios and I find a nut without the shell.
Well it said ‘random.’

And for the next *THREE* recipients of the eminently prestigious Kreative Blogger Award:

1. - She is humble, honest, and sweet. Period.
2. - She has twin boys she nicknamed "Search" and "Destroy." That's enough reason for me to like her.
3. - We've been friends since elementary school. She lived in Hawaii for a while and now lives in Australia (i.e. she's wordly). She has an eye for style and is a wizard with finding awesome stuff on the cheap.

Go visit them! :)
Thanks again, Roe!


  1. Can't name everything I loved about this post... Lol... Is it just super funny to me, bc I know u so well and can picture all this? :)

  2. I loved all of this!!!

  3. You are awesome!!! Thank you for nominating me and for making me laugh. Can I justify getting a new dress to accept this award? My first thought is ... oh, I can't compete with your hilarious post; my second is, maybe I'll hire you to write mine for me :-)! Thanks again!

    1. There can never be an argument AGAINST getting a new dress. So you probably need two.

      I love your posts! Can't wait to see your answers! :)

  4. Congrats on the award. Your answers are great! funny! It was so sweet of you to nominate me.

    1. Well I mean it! I saw your last post, I DO want to see more. I LOVE your eclectic/bohemian/moroccan/elegant aesthetic! :)

    2. I just completed my Kreativ Blogger post. A few rules were broken, in the process....oops! Does this mean I'll have 7 years of bad luck? ;o)

    3. I commented on it! Loved it!

  5. I haven't had my first cup of coffee and I laughed out loud to this post. Enjoy your award, I am sure you have many more coming your way..

  6. Congratulations! You did an excellent job here---LOVE your sense of humor! saw your name on my GFC as a follower and I just had to stop by. I am now following you via email (under the name marciakesterdoyle) and look VERY forward to blog updates!!! Great job, Kristen!

  7. Congratulations! Wait, you can still roller skate backwards?!? I don't think I was able ever to do that successfully! :)

  8. OMG, I just lost my shit reading about the dead chicken and armpit thing. LOL! I always think that's a stupid question too. You're very funny, and I am officially adding you to my google bloggy reader thingy. (RSS?) :)