I didn't even think I had any New Year's Resolutions. I was like, "I am totally happy with myself. I don't want to change a thing!"
But after thinking for a few minutes, I realized there are some things I'd like to accomplish in 2014, a few things I'd like to change. But I don't want to fall into the trap of making the same tired resolutions year after year... and never keeping them. If I'm going to make the resolution to change something, the change needs to happen, and it needs to be permanent. After all, how many years in a row can I say I want to stop yelling at my kids and finally get down to 125 pounds?
It's not going to happen, Kristen.
Anyway. Here are my New Year's Resolutions for 2014:
1) Be more patient and yell less. See, I'm not saying I'm going to cut out yelling all together. Of course it would be super-helpful for the kids to behave, because if they behave and I don't have to say everything five billion times, I'll be less likely to scream at them. Okay so maybe my resolution this year can be to yell more quietly and with less teeth-gritting. Baby steps, you guys.
2) Read the news more. I need to be more up-to-date on current events. It's pathetic how out-of-the-loop I've become. And I fully intend to put some smarty-pants newsy app on my phone so that whenever I have a spare moment, I can catch up on whatever craziness is happening in Afghanistan and all those other countries that are next to Afghanistan and also maybe what's happening with the stock market and politics. Because that shit is super-important. Which brings me to my next resolution:
3) Stop playing so much F&#%!^% Candy Crush on my phone. I'm on level 434. There's only one person I know who is at a higher level than that and he is a twenty-year-old boy. STOP SENDING ME FREE LIVES, PEOPLE. BTW my brother-in-law has a theory that the government is paying King to make Candy Crush (and other games) addictive to keep our attention off of "the important stuff." I told him I thought he was paranoid, and that I was going to research that one political topic that I don't agree with him about, but right after I beat the next level of Candy Crush.
4) Do those home projects I keep whining about. I'm sick and tired of our wanna-be "old-world Italian" decor. It looks like the Olive Garden barfed in my family room (I went to Italy twelve years ago and ever since, have tried to turn my world into Italy.) I keep waiting on my husband to help me redo our decor, but the truth is, I don't need his help. I just want him to do it for me while I stand there and watch and give pointers. And how hard can it be to change a freakin' light fixture?
5) Continue on my quest to be super-fit. I kinda fell off the wagon there for a little while (okay I'm still off), but it's not my fault! People keep giving me cookies. You don't throw away cookies, you guys, especially not ones that were given as gifts. I'm not going to say I want to lose weight, because that is really not the point. However I would like to be bikini-confident by April. At the moment, I do not have bikini confidence.
6) Finish my book. This is one of those stupid resolutions that probably isn't going to happen but it would be really messed up if I didn't make it one of my resolutions. Losing the apathy would be helpful.
And now I need to go because my phone just alerted me that I now have full lives on Candy Crush. I need to play as much as possible before the New Year begins and I have to start reading the news.
What are your New Year's Resolutions? Do you normally keep yours?