Monday, December 30, 2013

New Year's Resolutions that Aren't Total Crap?

I didn't even think I had any New Year's Resolutions. I was like, "I am totally happy with myself. I don't want to change a thing!"

But after thinking for a few minutes, I realized there are some things I'd like to accomplish in 2014, a few things I'd like to change. But I don't want to fall into the trap of making the same tired resolutions year after year... and never keeping them. If I'm going to make the resolution to change something, the change needs to happen, and it needs to be permanent. After all, how many years in a row can I say I want to stop yelling at my kids and finally get down to 125 pounds?  

It's not going to happen, Kristen.

Anyway. Here are my New Year's Resolutions for 2014:

1) Be more patient and yell less. See, I'm not saying I'm going to cut out yelling all together. Of course it would be super-helpful for the kids to behave, because if they behave and I don't have to say everything five billion times, I'll be less likely to scream at them. Okay so maybe my resolution this year can be to yell more quietly and with less teeth-gritting. Baby steps, you guys.

2) Read the news more. I need to be more up-to-date on current events. It's pathetic how out-of-the-loop I've become. And I fully intend to put some smarty-pants newsy app on my phone so that whenever I have a spare moment, I can catch up on whatever craziness is happening in Afghanistan and all those other countries that are next to Afghanistan and also maybe what's happening with the stock market and politics. Because that shit is super-important. Which brings me to my next resolution:

3) Stop playing so much F&#%!^% Candy Crush on my phone. I'm on level 434. There's only one person I know who is at a higher level than that and he is a twenty-year-old boy. STOP SENDING ME FREE LIVES, PEOPLE. BTW my brother-in-law has a theory that the government is paying King to make Candy Crush (and other games) addictive to keep our attention off of "the important stuff." I told him I thought he was paranoid, and that I was going to research that one political topic that I don't agree with him about, but right after I beat the next level of Candy Crush.

4) Do those home projects I keep whining about. I'm sick and tired of our wanna-be "old-world Italian" decor. It looks like the Olive Garden barfed in my family room (I went to Italy twelve years ago and ever since, have tried to turn my world into Italy.) I keep waiting on my husband to help me redo our decor, but the truth is, I don't need his help. I just want him to do it for me while I stand there and watch and give pointers. And how hard can it be to change a freakin' light fixture? 

5) Continue on my quest to be super-fit. I kinda fell off the wagon there for a little while (okay I'm still off), but it's not my fault! People keep giving me cookies. You don't throw away cookies, you guys, especially not ones that were given as gifts. I'm not going to say I want to lose weight, because that is really not the point. However I would like to be bikini-confident by April. At the moment, I do not have bikini confidence.

6) Finish my book. This is one of those stupid resolutions that probably isn't going to happen but it would be really messed up if I didn't make it one of my resolutions. Losing the apathy would be helpful.

And now I need to go because my phone just alerted me that I now have full lives on Candy Crush. I need to play as much as possible before the New Year begins and I have to start reading the news.

What are your New Year's Resolutions? Do you normally keep yours?

16 comments:

  1. How in the world does a person get to that level and how long did it take you? I am on level 77 with no hope of ever getting any farther. It took me a whole year to get that far.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I've been playing for about a year. It's a combination of being really good at it and being f&cking obsessed.

      :)

      Delete
    2. Same here, a year, but can't get anywhere.

      Delete
  2. I love making resolutions. I don't stress over the fact if I can keep them or not, it's never a bad idea to want/think/try/hope for better, is it? Last year I cut out soda (but it's not the biggest accomplishment because I didn't drink much anyway. I just wanted to be able to tell my daughter, when she's old enough to ask, that we don't drink soda). I cut out tabloids and bought maybe three all year. I don't have a goal weight in mind (okay, I do...but I'm more interested in fitting back into ALL of my jeans that I already own because I once-could it really have been just a couple of months ago-fit into them just fine), and I want to stay fit. I also signed up for an 8k in mid March so being able to run five miles is also on the better-f-ing-do list.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Also. Get my new button. HHM is sooo three months ago.

      Delete
    2. I know, I KNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW. I really haven't sat long enough at my computer long enough to do more than bang out a quick post. I've been visiting my sister's over the last week and right before that (on Christmas!) I got SUPER-sick, like moaning in bed and sweating through all the sheets sick. I barely even remember Christmas. :(

      Delete
  3. Italy barfed in your living room. STOOOOOOOOOOOP. this is hilarious.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No, worse: OLIVE GARDEN barfed in my living room. I have a fake painting with rustic houses interspersed among rolling hills with those tall skinny trees for which Tuscany is known. I'm not proud. No one in Italy has a painting like this. It's hideous.

      Delete
  4. Those are good ones! I'm all about small, specific, and manageable for goals. My two for the year are really just carry overs from 2013. I'm going to keep waking up extra early on week days to write. And I'm going to continue banning my iPhone from the bedroom. That's IT!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I would love to wake up early and write. But Hubs claims the entire downstairs for obnoxiously-loud morning-news watching. Oh well, guess I have no choice but to sleep in! ;)

      Delete
  5. I am totally with you on #1. I find myself getting easily frustrated with my kids when I'm tired or stressed, and that definitely needs to STOP. And as for Candy Crush, I have yet to play it, and I don't plan to. If I start, there will be no time for work or sleep! Good luck to you!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah. Definitely don't start playing Candy Crush. I wish I'd never started. SOOOO much time wasted!

      I'm doing better at maintaining my cool with my kids. I just need to stay on top of it and not let it be one of those resolutions that falls by the wayside. =)

      Delete
  6. I dont resolutions, per se, but I do have a goal to get finished (or to at least work as much as possible on my book..work on it whenever I have free time). Good list you have here, overall.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You're writing a book too? What kind?

      BTW I'm supposed to be writing RIGHT NOW. But instead I'm playing on Facebook and checking comments on my blog. :-/

      Delete
  7. I have such an addictive personality......I thank God every day that I didn't get started on Candy Crush. Instead, I'm obsessed with blogging and its social media. That's work, you know. LOL! I'm struggling with new year's resolutions. I'm not sure what I want to do this year. Time to figure it out.......You can get that book done. I'm waiting to read it, you know!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Haha, I'm not sure my blogging addiction (okay, FB page addiction) is doing me any favors, either. I started the blog as a way to practice my writing and gain a following, then I started teh FB page as a way to drum up more traffic to the blog... and now I just play on FB. :-/

      Delete